Digital Entries

3/26/2020

today's been ok, but i relapsed yesterday :(, it's fine, taking a step back every once in a while is normal in recovery, as long as i'm making progress, you know?

quote of the day:“I guess my biggest problem is that I find it easier to relapse than to carry through.”― S.A. Tawks, Mule

3/27/2020

water spilled out of my snails tank today, i need to buy them a new filter cart. mom=mad

3/30/20

UGGGGGGHHHH! I HATE my dad so much, he irritates me like a motherfucker and my mom is so fucking annoying I want to break something or hurt someone,

i feel like all my wrath is piling up and one day i'll fucking snap and shits gonnna happen, people will be hurt, energy will be released and then i'll be calm,

then i could die peacfully

quote of the day:“She was fury, she was wrath, she was vengeance.”― Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows

4/1/20

WRATH, pain, sadness, fatigue, lonliness, and irritated, that's what i feel rn, i want to run away, or kill myself, or maybe hurt the ones who have

hurt me. I feel like a waste, a waste of life, time, and resources. i need to do something, i dont want to feel all of this anymore, it's too much.

I am DRAINED, I don't want to do my homework or clean, i want to spent time with the only person i don't want to hurt, the only person i love, the only

person i can see myself spending my life with happily. :)

4/3/20

I'm doing better now, Spring break starts in 4 hours, but it sucks that i can't do anything bc of the stupid fucking quarentine.

4/9/20

2:07AM : i'm not good

5/1/20

i am shit

6/10/20

will i make a difference, does it matter if i live, honestly i don't think so, i don't feel like im living, i mean i know i'm alive but

it's all the same, i don't think it'll ever change, i don't think anything is real or is really happening, at the end no one will remember me

i'm as insignificant as everyone else, i'm not special, i don't understand anything i guess. do i even make sense?

it's never enough

6/17/20

my mom hates me // i want to run away // mom said she not my mom // i'm done

7/10/20

piece of shit calls me abusive, i'm not the abusive one cunt

5/18/21

long time no see, this is now gonna be the journal of my deeper darker thoughts, what i dont want people to know,a little area to vent basically. thes past 10 or so hours have been shitty asffff, i relapsed, i also think my bf might be cheatin on me but who knows, i just wanna keep hurtin tbh, i don't feel anything right now, just anger, pure wrath.

5/19/2021

everything is spiraling down again, i wanna leave, i dont feel stable enough to be here anymore

5/22/2021

shawty i told you everything would be amazing soon, fucking look at us, we're fucking hawt, uu r stable enough and ur not gna let sht get to uu anymore

8/23/2021

idk what to so, the love of your life is back bro, hopefully he actually wants you back as much as you want him, all ik is that he's stalked me, but bro im still in love w him, the only thing is he dated sammara like wtf but like whatever, i was basically selling my body at the time anyways so like ig we're tied

"I can't escape this hell So many times I've tried But I'm still caged inside Somebody get me through this nightmare I can't control myself"